Tiny Little Mouse Balls!!! LOL!
At the casino over the weekend. Great scene happened. My buddy, an x-NYPD officer was visiting and we went to play. We are into the typical stuff for a couple of hours. All of a sudden a new dealer comes in and I turn to my buddy and simply say, 'Fortune 7' time. We both throw up a quarter. The rest of the table in their chopped and broken English say, 'You guys really think so'? My buddy in his heavy NY accent says, 'Of course--dealer new--problem no--chop chop go-go---up Fortune ok'.
Most of them throw up a nickel or two. Dealer deals and this is a new dealer without a trainer standing behind him. Players have a total of 3 and Bankers have a total of 6. Players 3rd card was a 7 and the dealer pushes the Bankers 2 cards out and says Banker wins. There is no one on players and half of us had a Fortune wager up. 2 people did not and had larger wagers on the Banker. They are also saying Banker won, no draw. We look at them like they are crazy. Worst thing is we tie. We still have a shot at Fortune and no card pull can make us lose anyway. The shoe rhythm was basically okay, no need to change anything really IMO. The dealer is confused and didn't have the experience to remember or deal the 6 or 7 for the Players when the Banker already had a total of 6.
Floor person is all the way down the other end of the pit. My buddy stands up, pretty big guy, still has his shape without a doubt. Puts his hands on the table railing and tells the dealer not to do anything and call the floor person, he still needs to pull another card. The dealer says okay and tells everyone to wait, the floor person is too far away to hear. My buddy grabs his own crotch and tells the dealer, 'what's wrong you got little mouse balls or something, yell down there like this' and he lets go with a huge 'floor person we need you' yell, loud and 100% obnoxious but got the attention of the whole pit for sure. Floor person comes over, and it is one that never combats anything really. My buddy explains the situation to the floor person who doesn't know whether to laugh or tell my buddy to sit the freak down or not. Then my buddy says, 'pull a friggin card and get it over with, are the dealers balls so tiny there are like half the size of baby mouse balls'?? I mumble the movie title, "The Heat" and my buddy is like, "Yeah, love that movie".
Floor person starts laughing and says, 'sometimes I feel like I got mouse balls'. So my buddy says pretty darn loud, 'anyone seen the pit person's balls, come on we are looking for this guys balls'. Everyone is cracking up around us, it was all taken in good gesture and the pit person finally motions the dealer to pull a card. Dealer pulls a monkey of course.
Here is what we were referring to for those that never saw the move:https://vimeo.com/86939689
So next hand we throw up any quarter each on the Fortune 7 and I throw out a nickel for the dealer next to my quarter, my buddy does the same. At least 3 of the Viet ladies at the table playing once again say, 'you guys think Fortune' in their choppy English. My buddy says, 'Like plate of noddle and Asian monkey balls down in Manhattan, lower-china town, back of restaurant--fresh, no problem baby'. Remember this guy is big, well over 250 and about 6' 3" or so, spent a good 20 years on the Emergency Service Unit for NYPD. For those that don't know what ESU does, they do all the high risk warrants, hostage or sniper calls, robbery in progresses and rescue operations, types of calls. Anyways, he keeps pointing to the Fortune where the 3 ladies are sitting and convinces them to all throw up something on it. Tells the dealer to wait, fixing his wager and then he throws up a nickel next to his Fortune wager for the dealer and puts 3 nickels out besides each of the Viet ladies $5 or $10 wagers up on their Fortunes as well. Looks at the dealer and tells him, '$1,000.00 plus in your pocket if you can just deal us a darn Fortune 7'. Dealer nods his head. My buddy tells him, 'come the frick on man, it isn't going to come out with that kind of attitude'. Dealer tries to pump it up a notch but it isn't working. My buddy let's go with, 'deal us a damn Fortune or those little mouse balls you have will shrivel up'. And he was loud, everyone around is laughing once again.
Everyone is on the Banker side and the dealer actually asks my buddy, 'may I deal now'. It was not a sarcastic type of response, he was actually intimidated by him. My buddy goes, no. We call the floor person over and tell him, 'just so there is no problem here and the flow of cards does not get stopped by your prime time super dealer, stand there please. Floor person says to the dealer, 'you got a lot riding on this one, I would suggest you attempt to make a Fortune 7'. My buddy tells the dealer to deal as he throws up another quarter on his Fortune and I do the exact same thing. We are both standing and my buddy is calling the cards. He says, 'Players have.....a Blackjack a 1'. Then the dealer flips the Banker cards and my buddy says, 'Banker has a 2, okay we have a shot at this'. So my buddy puts his arm at and stops the dealer from dealing. Floor person says, 'we need more cards still'. My buddy goes, 'I know that, of course no s*** Sherlock, I have to tell the dealer some words of wisdom'. Floor person crosses his arms and says, 'this ought to be real good'. Everyone is laughing again. With all his going on, I am thinking a monkey and a 5 has to come out without a doubt. My buddy tells the dealer, 'monkey or maybe an ace or a deuce, that is it and save that 5 for us, okay'? Dealer is getting a bit more into it and shows a bit more enthusiasm at this point. Dealer pulls a card for the players and produces a monkey. My buddy turns and high fives me. He says, 'now with both those little mouse balls you got pull that damn 5 out of that shoe and give it to us'. The Viet ladies are all hyped up and pointing to the Fortune 7 wagers all over the table. All of a sudden one of them in their broken English says, 'One thousand for dealer---dealer one thousand baby--come on'. I know the floor person for a few years now and he is just standing their laughing. A few people came over from the other surrounding blackjack tables and pai gow tables around us. The cocktail waitress is behind us and a few other players around as well. All of a sudden everyone is chanting 5....5....5....5.....5. The dealer has his hand on the shoe and looks at my buddy and says, 'are you ready'? My buddy throws his hands up in the air and says as loud as he can, 'come the frick on-deal it already'. He pulls the card and flops it, it sure enough is a 5 and all hell breaks out at and around the table. My buddy sticks his fist out there to fist bump the dealer and then high fives him, floor person pats him on the back and congrats the dealer on his $1,000.00 plus tip (dealers keep their own tips at this property in full). So my buddy tells the dealer, "see what you can do--when you get rid of them mouse balls"!!! What was so cool....is he says stuff like that with complete 100% conviction, no laughing or snickering, adds to the aura and the instant time beyond what most can envision.
Another one for the books....................