I was walking by the baccarat pit last night and low and behold, Brownie gets up and tells everyone, be right back--need to use the restroom really quick.  Another player is walking down the aisle, Juneberry.  Brownie and Juneberry make eye contact and give each other that secret organization of professional gambler's acknowledgment; two quick bows of the head followed by the right eye being blinked 3 times and a tug on each of their left ears.  Brownie and Juneberry go way back, but that is a story for another time.

Brownie gets back to the baccarat table and becomes enraged.  Seems they did not wait for him and 2 Fortune 7 wins and 2 six-six tie hands all came out in the past 8 hands that Brownie was gone during.  Of course, those are Brownie's favorite side wagers, each paying a nice 40 to 1 return.

Brownie pulls up his chair to the table and places his wager on the Players side.  Everyone else is on the Bankers side.  The dealer slides the Players 2 cards face down to Brownie on the table and Brownie peeks at each of them.  Announces that one is a monkey and the other one is a 3-line card.  Of course, Brownie is whispering 8-8-8-8, come on 8, give me another pip, make this 7 an 8.  Finally, Brownie flips over the 8.  Brownie props himself up in his chair, pointing at his $900.00 wager and telling the rest of the people how smart he really is.

The dealer slides the 2 Bankers side cards to the highest wagering woman that just happens to be seated next to Brownie.  She peeks and peeks and peeks.  Finally, Brownie says, so whatcha got big shot?  And the woman says, a monkey and a 4-line card.  Another person also wagering on the Bankers side takes his right hand and scoops it into the imaginary magical dust bowl and then reaches over and rubs his thumb and first 2 fingers together over the 4-line card, citing 9-9-9-9-9.  Please get rid of one of the pips and make it a 9.  Brownie is like, WTF man!  Seriously, stop with the shenanigans and the idiotic gestures man!  Play right!!!, he says.  The guy that sprinkled the magical dust on the card, is now starring at Brownie and nodding his head, blinking his right eye and tugging on his ear.  Brownie can not believe it.  Brownie is thinking to himself, how did someone so stupid and pretentious make it into the all-time worldwide society of professional gamblers?  The woman flips over a 9 and Brownie's face changes.

So, Brownie speaks up, WTF I can not even win with a natural 8!  So, Brownie places his next wager on the Banker side and everyone looks at each other and places their wagers on the Players side.  So, Brownie thinks to himself for a few seconds and pulls his wager down to the Players side as well.  Everyone else looks at each other and engages in a little Southeast Asian dialog and every single wager gets moved back to the Bankers side, except for Brownies of course.  Brownie says, I will show you, I will show each of you that I have the power and the ability to read the random presentments of the shoe, it is not science or mathematical.  So, the woman that flipped the 9 card asks Brownie, so then what is it?  Brownie says, it is a natural gift from someone I met in the mountains while downhill 70% grade world champion skiing doing around 130 to 150 MPH and instilling in me a power that makes Voodoo appear to be lame and outdated.

The cards come out.  The dealer slides the 2 Players side cards once again to Brownie.  Brownie peeks and peeks and peeks.  This time Brownie announces that he has a 3-line card and a 1-line card.  Brownie is whispering 6 and 3, then whispering 7 and 2, then whispering 8 and an Ace.  Finally, Brownie flips over an 8 and a 2 card.  Snickers and laughter come from the Asians sitting there.  One of the Asian just took a sip of coffee and a few bubbles came out of his nose as well.  Brownie is like, man wipe your nose, that is absolutely disgusting, having your snot drip onto the felt!  Seriously bro, nasty.  Then the dealer slides the 2 Bankers cards to the same woman that flipped the natural 9 the pervious hand.

The woman is saying, 2 four-line cards.  She turns one longways and starts to peel it back and the guy that sprinkled the magical dust onto the previous one, was like; Wait!, Wait!, Wait! And Brownie was like saying, stop the unintelligent and insane magical dust sprinkling please, play right.  And the guy goes, okay Brownie, so you want me to just stare at the cards and tell you what each one is based on my ability to read random events?  And Brownie says, do what you want bro, you are whacked out of your mind anyways.

So, the guy reaches over and sprinkles another application of magical dust onto the card the woman is about to peel back.  Sprinkle, Sprinkle, Sprinkle.  The guy is actually saying the word SPRINKLE, as he is doing it.  The woman turns to Brownie, nods her head twice, blinks her eye 3 times and tugs the heck out of her ear.  The dealer is saying, what am I involved in a circus, a LaLa Land dream or what?  The woman looks back to her card and flips it, it was a 10.  Brownie breaks out in a laugh as the woman is dead on serious and starts peeling the second one back.  The guy says once again; Wait! Wait! Wait!  Once again, the guy begins to sprinkle and sprinkle and sprinkle his invisible magical dust onto the second card.  So, Brownie says, how come your magical dust did not work on the first card if it is real?  And the guy answers Brownie, because I did not apply enough of it.  But I got that under my wing now, watch this.  And the guy sprinkles and sprinkles and sprinkles and sprinkles.  The woman peeks and peeks and peeks and peels and peels and peels the card back.  She flops a 9 and everyone turns to Brownie.  The woman says, so Brownie what happened?     

Once again, Brownie shoves up his remaining chips, well over $2,000.00 on the Bankers side and announces the Banker will repeat, has to repeat.  Everyone else is citing a cut, a cut to the opposite side, the Players side.  The rest of the table places all their wagers on the Players side.  Brownie then reaches over to his wager stack and slides it down to the Players side.  Everyone reaches in and removes their wagers.  The woman turns back to Brownie, why did you move your wager down to where we were at?  Brownie answers, it is a free country and I can do what I please, okay?  She says to Brownie, it is not fair you are giving us bad luck.  Brownie says, impossible baccarat does not work that way.  The cards are already predetermined and preset to come out the way they will, I or you cannot change the outcome of what is waiting.  They all turn to one another and laugh and laugh and laugh.  Finally, they tell the dealer to go ahead and deal, they are all staying out of the hand.  Brownie laughs.  The dealer slides Brownie the 2 cards for the Players and Brownie tells the dealer to open the Bankers cards first.  The woman is saying that she knows that the Bankers side has a natural 9 and Brownie laughs once again.  The dealer flops a 6 and a 3.  Brownie gets real quite and the smile falls from his face.  Brownie flops two monkeys.  The lady turns back to Brownie and thanks him like 5 times.  Brownie tells her to shut up, please just shut up!

Brownie pulls 2 purple chips from a previous win he stashed away and puts those in front of himself.  Everyone else wagers on the Banker for a repeat.  Brownie pushes both his purple chips up on the Bankers side also.  The guy turns to Brownie and says, we will all stay on the Banker but you have to support us with the magical dust I will sprinkle on the cards.  Brownie says, you only have $800.00 or so on your wager and I have more, I get the cards, so no magical dust fruitcake.  Plains and simple.  The woman next to Brownie picks up her $750.00 wager and stacks it on the guys wager and they all look at Brownie and shrug their shoulders.  Brownie pulls his wager down to the Players side and says, go ahead and use your magical dust, you guys are all certified fruitcakes anyway.

The dealer deals the cards.  The Players cards are pushed to Brownie.  Brownie peeks and peeks and peeks.  Then Brownie takes his right hand, dips it in the imaginary magical dust bowl and sprinkles and sprinkles and sprinkles the face down cards.  Brownie says, I had two 2-line cards, the magical dust I sprinkled will make me have a 4 and a 5 card, you will see.  Then Brownie flops one and it is a 5 card.  Brownie then sprinkles and sprinkles and sprinkles more magical dust.  He flops a second 5 card.  Everyone breaks out laughing and Brownie tells them to all shut up!  The woman asks Brownie, what happened?  She then said, you must have used the wrong magical dust Brownie.  The woman gets the cards past to her by the guy with the highest wager and she peeks and peeks and peeks and peeks.  She turns to Brownie and says a one-line card and a 3-line card.  Brownie says, yeah right---no problem you got a 7 and a 3 or an 8 and a 2.  No problem.  She flops the first one, an 8.  Then she sprinkles some magical dust on the other card face down.  She flops a 3.  Brownie laughs and laughs and laughs.  The dealer slides Brownie his 3rd card.  Brownie peeks and peeks and peeks.  Brownie smiles and say he has a 3-line card.   

Brownie peeks and peeks and peeks, peels and peels and peels and flops an 8.  Brownie says, there beat that and breaks out laughing and physically patting himself on the back.  The dealer slides the Bankers 3rd card to the woman and she then slides it to the guy with the largest chip stack.  He peeks and peeks and peeks.  The guy slowly reaches across to the table right in front of Brownie and dips his hand into the invisible and imaginary magical dust bowl.  The guy says, I rather have your magical dust for this one instead of mine, I just feel yours is spot on and real.  Brownie tells the guy he is whacked out of his mind and how much of a fruitcake he is.  The guy says out loud, I have a 3-line card, one change to lose, one change to tie and one chance to win.  The woman turns and says, use more magical dust, sprinkle more and make that baby an 8 please!  The guy sprinkles and sprinkles and sprinkles and sprinkles.  The guy calls the pit boss over and talks in Southeast Asian to her and asks her to sprinkle some more dust on the card.  The pit boss looks at everyone and shrugs her shoulders and everyone except Brownie is egging her on to do it.  She looks at Brownie and asks if it is okay with him as well.  Brownie says to go right ahead and calls them all fruit cakes.  The pit boss sprinkles and sprinkles and sprinkles the imaginary magical dust on the non-disclosed card.  The guy peels it back and says it is at least a 7.  Flips the card around and starts to peel the opposite end and flops it over right in front of Brownie.  It was an 8!

Brownie got up and left.  Brownie was mumbling out loud how those small bites from the better looking trends really suck.  Everyone waves bye bye to Brownie and the game goes on without him.  As Brownie is making his way to the exit, he sees a winter display near the front doors.  Win a gift certificate for snow skiing clothes and skies at our gift shop, enter today.  Brownie thinks to himself, Boy O Boy, if those people only knew I used to ski like 150 MPH down 70 to 90% grades in world championship ski competition where only 3 or 4 or 5 people in the entire world could accomplish such feats, they would have relaxed a bit on the magical dust thing and let me win.